Sept. 25, 2003 -- Whether it's telling a child about the death
Sept. 25, 2003 -- Whether it's telling a child about the death of a pet or breaking a video game habit, most parents tend to follow their own gut over expert parenting advice. But that doesn't mean they don't second-guess themselves.
A new survey shows 70% of parents usually trust their gut, but nearly as many (65%) occasionally question their parenting choices.
In fact, researchers found that despite agreeing with the experts on many sensitive parenting issues, parents are pretty tough on themselves when it comes to judging how good a parent they are. The majority of parents gave themselves a "B" for parenting performance.
Parenting Confidence Put to the Test
The national online survey of 500 parents of kids ages 2-11 looked at how parents handle common parenting issues such as cognitive and social development, discipline, self-esteem, nutrition, health, and fitness. Researchers also asked a group of experts what they would do if they were in the parent's shoes.
The survey was conducted by C&R Research and was developed by the New York University Child Study Center in collaboration with Nick Jr. Family Magazine, and the results appear in the October issue of the magazine.
Researchers found that although only 7% of parents usually trust the experts for parenting advice, fewer than one on four parents say they "always trust their instincts." That means that most parents rely on expert advice at least some of the time.
Tough Choices
Researchers asked parents questions to see what they'd do in some trick parenting situations, such as:
- Your 8-year-old's pediatrician informs you that your child is significantly overweight. Following expert advice, you plan to enforce a healthy lifestyle. What do you tell your child? Nearly half said they'd explain to the child the doctor's plan to eat better and exercise more, and the rest were torn between telling the child the truth about his weight and setting healthier lifestyle goals.
- Every time you turn around, your child is parked on the sofa. What do you do to break the couch potato habit? Only 3% said they would solve this problem by packing the child's day with activities, and more than half said they would engage the child in fun physical activity.
- Your family's beloved dog has cancer. To spare the dog further suffering, you decide to have him put to sleep. How do you break the news to your 5-year-old? More than half said they believe in telling the child the whole truth, and the rest were divided between spilling everything but your role in ending the dog's suffering and letting the child simply know the dog is in heaven.
In the end, the results show that 80% of parents agreed with at least half of the answers the experts chose.
"Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs, and learning the best ways to deal with difficult situations with sensitivity is crucial," says researcher Richard Gallagher, PhD, in a news release. "Seeing how other parents and child development experts react to day-to-day dilemmas is a valuable resource for any parent."
